The Year in Shitty Pictures

A lot of shit happened this year... Some of the shit was too shit for me to notice, as I had some other shit going on... But here's a few of the bits what I remember.

The year began. Everyone was really happy, and started using this new word, 'Amazeballs'. Some people liked it, but some people didn't... Of all the protests this year, this one was perhaps the most fierce!

Apparently, it got put in the Collins English Dictionary, and was something to do with popcorn. Maize balls!

A social internet tendency towards these sort of pictures flew about, each one less amusing than the last:

Next up: I got a Valentine's Card! One that was entirely fitting for a classy bird such as myself...

Then, the National Botanic Garden of Wales tried to stop me writing rude poems by making me their first ever Poet in Residence. I think it worked!

There were lots of things in the news, but I was too ill/caught up in shit to take notice...

Though, I did manage to enjoy the Olympics opening ceremony. It was great to finally find out where all those NHS beds went!

There was some blah-blah-crap to do with celebrating the Queen's existence, with a lot of tax payers' money going towards appropriate signage for the event...

I was also pleased to discover that this was the year Royal Doulton commemorated the release of the topless photos of Kate Middleton, by releasing a Collector's Edition of two small jugs...

The end of the world then showed up. It threatened to out-do the Great Asteroid of 1998 with its mega-awesomeness!!

However, the year didn't come to an end, but instead came to a close in its normal manner. I got ill again, but I had learned one important lesson...

Also, that if I could have a dinner party with any three people, dead or alive, it would be Justin Bieber, Chris Brown, and Piers Morgan. All dead.

That was my shit year in pictures! Let's hope that 2013 isn't as crap!!!!!!!!

No More Mrs Nice Mab!

I've been ill for some time now. The most recent string of sicknesses (like dirty beads on a stinking chain - and when you look closely, you see the beads are actually throbbing glands, sweat-soaked cells, and globules of glutinous bile) has included: food poisoning; swiftly followed by yet another kidney infection; succeeded by a chest infection/flu; with conjunctivitis and an adverse reaction to some meds thrown in.

I've been lying down a lot, a bit like Katy in What Katy Did, but without ever having naughtily gone on the swing I was told not to. Generally, I am a Good Girl. I don't like to hurt people's feelings. I try to 'be nice' and pleasant and fit in with what other people want. I trained as a counsellor and I'm usually diplomatic with my words (in Real Life - which explains why On Stage I am such a madam!). However, there's nothing like a bit of enforced inertia to instill a strong sense of 'What I Want' in one.

And what I want is: excitement! Adventure! To enjoy more thrilling activities! And, to obtain a flat of my own, as per my Facebook status earlier this week:

Here be my pledge:

I pledge to seek the thrills, not worrying about the spills;

To find fun in every endeavour; to do

What I like when I like how I like with who I like

(Be it harm none... Except for the odd carpet burn, of course).

I pledge to edge instead of centre;

To centre myself in the unsuspected, the surprise...

To become a woman with wild eyes.

May 2013 be the year!!!!! Woo!!!!! :-)

Book Stuff!

"It is a man's duty to have books. A library is not a luxury but a necessity of life" - Henry Ward Beecher

And when he (or she! Bad Henry) have finished reading the books, then there's all sorts of stuff you can do with em...

This year, there seemed to be a lot of book-related things doing the rounds on various social media. Here are a few links to them for you... Enjoy! x

Bookshelves! Book Stairs! More Book Stairs! Book Covers! 

Book Trees! Book Art! Book Carving!
& (new) Book House!!!

Thanks (& so the days grow longer...!)

What is life, but a dream? Sometimes the thing can seem so harassed and bloodied, and heavy and terse, that we forget this. But, recently, I've been feeling it. Life's lighter, sunnier... So much so, that I can almost see through my own arms. Things are not as solid as they were. I see things more as motes of dust, rather than stones being thrown.

Earlier in the year, however, there were whole clouds of dust, and at the time every mote felt more like a comet than a crumb: a planet, rather than a particle. Now that I am seeing things in a sunnier light, I would like to thank all the people who were supportive during the time when I was having trouble with this... I was also pretty ill with a swift succession of kidney infections, which didn't much help matters.

So! My sincerest thank yous to......

Lisette, the bestest housemate ever! Nothing like a straight-talking Cockney wench to help you see things straight.

Fiona, the wise and beautiful dancing sprite, for sleep overs and advice and energising dance classes.

Kevin, who has a heart of gold, despite being a filthy, funny fucker (watch this clip!).

Cheers, also, to hep-cat Nicholas and cool-cat Marsha, simply for existing; to my sister Linds and brother Mao for their timely advice; to Emma Syrup and Will Ford, for listening when I ranted on; and also to the various ladies who I bumped into when distressed, and who were very nice to me: Sheryl; Coral; Yin; and everyone else.

Thanks to all my lovely, funny Facebook friends - FB gets a bad rap, like 'it's not real life' and that, but conversing/interacting with so many sweethearts *did* help, and *does* make a happy difference to my life.

Thanks to my meditation/healing group for being like little sparks of sunshine in a dark, dark world, and for showing me where and how to find the Light in myself :-)

Apologies to all the many people I did not get back to, esp. Jack Pascoe and Rachel Jones - I hope you will forgive me!

Thanks to the 'friends' who got in a huff/struck out when I was feeling low, really glad you've fucked off/I've told you to fuck off/I don't see you anymore! :-)

Thanks to Buzz Magazine for being so understanding and giving me some great opportunities this year, and to Write Out Loud (esp Greg Freeman) for allowing me to blog for them.

Thanks to Chapter Arts Centre, for hosting PechaKucha Night; and to Annie Haden at the Dylan Thomas Birthplace for being so kind and supportive.

Thank you to everyone who supported my cultural trip to Japan earlier in the year. See the full list of people who helped fund the trip here: but I would also like to thank those two who funded the most money (because I said I'd write a blog about you, and I havent yet): marvellous performance poet Anthony Fairweather and the super-talented singer-songwriter Cheryl Beer. 

Thanks also to Cheryl for asking me to perform at the wonderful Celtic Women festival.

And to Luke Wright, who helped sponsor my trip *and* booked me for the Latitude Festival, which was great fun.

To Leona Medlin of Mulfran Press for the lovely, poet-y London trip.

Thanks to Hirono Chikako of the Kansai St David's Society for asking me to perform at their festival in Osaka, Japan, and to photographer Rhys Jones for recommending me.

Thanks to the National Botanic Garden of Wales (David Hardy, in particular) for having me as their first ever Poet in Residence.

To Steven, for driving me to the Latitude Festival; for the sweet moments; and for making me realise I prefer dogs to cats.

And to many other people, too many to mention here!!! You know who you are, though!!! Much love to you, and a very happy Winter Solstice to you all!!!!! xxx

Five Words for Christmas

This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It’s like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety. Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes, when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals—sounds that say listen to this, it is important. ~ Gary Provost

Recent Adventures #1: Swindon Lit Fest & Aunty Beeb

Because I am constantly having lots of poet-y adventures, and always getting caught up in the midst of multiple activities, and am a bit of social can't-believe-it's-not-butterfly with too-many-things to see/hear/do, actually settling down to write about these adventures is often a little bit tricky.

Happy in Swindon

However, for your delectation and delight, and having found a few minute minutes to spare, I thought I would put pinkies to paper (well, laptop) and let you know about a few of the more recent, rather more exciting occurrences in Mabville.

First up, I performed at the Swindon Festival of Literature as part of a BBC Radio 4 show called Wondermentalist. This is described as a "comedy-infused, musically-enhanced poetry cabaret" and is presented by the very witty Mr Matt Harvey. The music comes courtesy of the super-talented Jerri Hart, who I bumped into at the hotel we'd all been booked into just as I was leaving for the gig. The other guest this time was the incredibly clever and funny Alex Horne.

A short taxi trip later and we were at Swindon Arts Centre, where I met Alison (the lady who'd Arranged Everything, from train to hotel to taxis to red wine upon arrival - manythanksindeed!) and Mark, the show producer. It was also really good to catch up with my poet friend Anthony Fairweather, who I did a show with last year as part of the Exeter Fringe Festival. 

Excited & nervous backstage!

Anyway, hanging out before the show was fun (except where the chaps started talking about sport) and performing, as always, was a lark. The heavy red curtains of the theatre space reminded me of one of my very first gigs at the Swansea Grand Theatre, where I'd had a strong deja vu-kinda experience being on stage with similar scarlet drapes... It was a feeling not just of I've-been-here-before, but also of belonging/being 'in the right place'. I often get this in theatre spaces, but when the red curtains are there I get it even more strongly. Maybe it's the womb-coloured comfort of the things, or maybe it's something left over from a past life... Either way, at the risk of sounding like a lascivious luvvie, one of the places I feel happiest is in the theatre. It's true, dah-ling!

A great gig, in any case, which I'll let you all know more about when it's aired (sometime in the autumn).  The Swindon audience were reeeeally up for it. And, it was fun hanging out after with Matt, Jerri, and some of the audience/people I'd met in the area before (hello @FestChroniclr et al!) afterwards, too. To cap it all off, Matt gave me one of the caps he had made. Here is a picture of it. 

So, thanks to Mark, Alison, Matt, Jerri and everyone else for a toptastic time. Swindon is cool - well, cooler than Slough (*in-joke*) - and I look forward to going there again (re-book meeee!).

More adventures to follow soon xxx

Queen Mab!

I remember reading Spenser's The Faerie Queen and always wanting to be the royal mistress of my own garden abode. Now, that youthful dream has come true... and I have been crowned as the first ever Poet in Residence of the National Botanic Garden of Wales!

At the time of that imaginative fantasy, I had no idea or even plans to become a poet. Poetry is a thing I accidentally stumbled into... Certainly, I wanted to be a writer, but not the Wendy Cope/Pam Ayres-a-like I seem to have turned into. I wanted to be a seeeeerious writer; a novelist; the voice of Wales! Instead I find, like my mother, I am a chatty girl who can't stop a bit of Cardiff humour spoiling her attempts at being/sounding high-minded/philosophical...

Except sometimes, when the personal or political aspect of a subject becomes a little too meaningful. The poem I wrote about the biggest bud in Wales, in bloom last year in the National Botanic Garden, and which led to me becoming Poet in Residence, was not just about this evil, blood-drinking killer-plant, or even how it transforms into a beautiful, nectar-offering delight when in bloom - it was more about a girl who is at first an ugly duckling, then something like a starlet... I don't think I will ever write a poem that is 'just about a flower' - though, I've got a whole year in the Garden, so, never say never!

Yes, a whole year... Of flouncing and pondering, mooching and meandering, walking and writing - and, since I am a performance poet, in true troubadour spirit I will also be engaging with visitors and staff, through research, workshops, readings, and blogs/social media. Poetry isn't just about the printed page... It's been in existence before the printing press was invented! And that's something I would like to promote during my Garden time, really.

So... A good first weekend in the Garden. I performed some poems in the Great Glasshouse, which is beautiful. I made some notes in the Hot House - some amazing palms, gingers, and orchids in there. AND - I got to see some some animals, including meercats, boa constrictors, and these baby jennets (pictured). Not quite the lion that the Faerie Queen is pictured with above, but - I'll get there! Maybe. Can we get some lions to Llanarthne, please?? Thanks very much!

Please follow my blog, on the right hand side, to keep up with my Garden/poetry adventures! Here are some news articles about it, too:


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-17782102

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/walesarts/2012/04/mab_jones_poet_in_residence_national_botanic_garden_of_wales.html

And, a radio interview! With Bethan Rhys Roberts and Oliver Hides. I am 2hrs 24mins in :-)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01g80bk/Good_Morning_Wales_20_04_2012/

Keep Calm!

Poetry can be contemplative, meditative, calming... It can lull you, soothe you, relax and relieve... It is a wonderful sort of stress-relief. Of course, I'm not saying *my* poetry will do this, but many of the great poets will! So, in times of angst and unease... You know what to do!! (Writing poetry is tops, too) ;-)

Kansai St David's Day Festival

Hirono Chikako, festival organiser

On 23rd March this year, the Kansai St David's Society held their annual event celebrating Wales and Welsh culture in Osaka, Japan. I was lucky enough to be asked over as the event's special guest, after a recommendation/introduction from last year's guest, photographer Rhys Jones.

Normally, I am a comic poet who performs on the stand-up, burlesque, cabaret, and spoken word circuits. However, I have written a few serious things (some short plays, several poems) and I thought it would be more appropriate to write something more traditional/historical for this event, rather than the rude and ribald rhyming that I enjoy so much. Somehow, I didn't think my best ever rhyme, a coarse coupling of the words 'Venus' and 'penis' would go down very well here!

So, I decided to take some mythical Mabinogion tales and translate them into verse form. Of the six stories I chose, only two of these involved rhyme - the others were in blank verse form, although often I employed some vague, internal half-rhymes, assonance/alliteration, and other connecting devices. Line repetition/echo played a part sometimes, and was particularly helpful in plucking moral meaning from these sometimes quite surreal stories. 

The event, I am happy to say, was full-house, and other interesting elements and activities included a show of beautiful photographs by Hidetoshi Ochiai; Welsh cake-tasting; an exhibition of art and poems by Hayase Yamagishi; and a set of lovely Welsh songs from the Osaka Male Voice Choir. This included the Welsh national anthem, which you can see here:

All in all, then, this was a marvellous event, and a wonderful time was had by all. Some more pictures from the event can be seen on Facebook here. Thanks to all who came along, and to Chikako Hirono for putting the whole festival together. Diolwch!!

The Crowd Fund

As many of you may know, I was unable to obtain match funding for my Japanese trip from Wales, so set up a page on a crowd-funding website to obtain this. The Sasakawa Foundation in Japan kindly gave me 100,000 yen (about 800 pounds) but this would have been barely enough to cover travel, both to/from and within the country.

So, I set up a page on Sponsume... And I am very pleased to announce that I hit my 800 pound target!

Thank you VERY much to: Anthony Fairweather (x 3!); Sam & Sarah Collins; Sara Constable; Lily Ayre; Sarah Snell-Pym: R H Morgan; Clare Ferguson-Walker; Clare Potter; Jeremy Dixon; Tim Brenan; Laura Howe; Nicholas Whitehead; Gregg & Angela Platt; Tony Lewis-Jones and the Various Artists; Daffni Percival; Jaci Dunsford; Elin ap Hywel; Lucy Caldwell; Karin Mear; Attila the Stockbroker; Hazel Saville; Howard 'Wood' Ingham; Lynn Roberts; Leona Carpenter; Rhys Jones; Luke Wright; Cheryl Beer; Sophie Thomas; Huw Ellis; Maura Hazelden; Deirdre Brannigan; Fiona Winter; A F Harold, Matthew Hollands.

YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!!!!! Many thanks indeed!!!!!

Mab xxx

Japan Old & New

Japan, as one might expect, is a place of contrasts. The drinks vending machine situated within the ancient, incense-infused temple; the pachinko (pinball) parlour screaming neon not far from beautiful, old-style wooden houses. Kyoto has more temples and shrines than bus stops, but it has a hell of a lot of bus stops, the usual glut of western-style advertising boards, noisy aural product promotion, and so on.

However, there are places of peace and, unlike, Osaka, the "little Tokyo" just a short train ride away, there has been an attempt here to minimise the pandering to consumer needs, and to retain something of the older ways. This is where you can still see geisha and maiko (trainee geisha) walking down the streets; where there are still wooden temples/houses un-touched by the bombs of the second world war, which laid waste to so many castles and temples across the country. You can purchase plastic souvenirs, but this is where people from all across Japan come to witness tradition; to remember their history; to enjoy ancient beauty; and to pray.

Plum blossoms are blooming!

Kyoto is one of my favourite places in the world, and already the plum blossoms are adding to the beauty of the city, which is more like a village in its genteel ways. I feel very lucky to be here. Of course I enjoy the faster pace at times, but its this glimpse of ancient Japan that works as a wonderful balm to my oft-overworked, poet-performer soul. I highly recommend a visit here! Until anon - Mab xxx

In Japan!

So, I finally made it to Japan! A flight cancellation, followed by a delay, missed connection, re-routing via Korea, and lost baggage could not stop me!!! (Though, I did get my baggage back, eventually.)

So far, I have seen several temples (impossible not to, really, in Kyoto, where there are more temples/shrines than there are bus stops) and eaten various delicious native foods, e.g. omurice, a lovely mound of rice wrapped in an omelette-y jackey. It looks like an Eskimo wearing a yellow parka. But, it tastes delicious! I also went to this great sake bar with a photographer friend and got introduced to several types of the famous rice wine. Tasty, as well as dangerous! The sweetness belies its potent alcoholic content. Must be more careful in future....! ;-)

Now I am looking forward to performing on Sunday. Speak soon!!! x

Write Out Loud - Discovering Japan!

I wrote a blog for Write Out Loud:

Write Out Loud - Discovering Japan: Mab Jones on a cultural trip to the far east

Enjoy!!! x

Sayonara!

As some of you may know, I am off to Japan very shortly. Well, in the morning, actually. I have a gig there!!!

Please take a minute to watch the video I made about my performance and plans by clicking the picture below:

I have 6 amazing artists working with me on this project, they are:

Lucy Freegard   http://www.lucyfreegard.com/

Amelia Rose Judd   http://ameliarosejuddillustration.wordpress.com/

Cat Ingall   http://www.catingall.co.uk/

Lady Noctis   http://www.ladynoctis.co.uk/

Karin Mear   http://www.baaah-design.com/

Jo Whitby   http://iknowjojo.com/

Anyway, if you'd like to follow my blog, I will be keeping a diary of my Japanese adventures here. Got to get some beauty sleep now. Plane leaves in about 10 hours. Speak soon! And, sayonara!!!

Holidaying With the Joneses

What I like most about being a Jones is the fact I often get included in random odd and interesting things based upon this fact. Here is an article that appeared in the Western Mail on Saturday, for example. Please see my contribution on page 3 (oo-er)!!!

http://www.walesonline.co.uk/showbiz-and-lifestyle/real-life/2012/02/25/what-the-joneses-like-about-holidaying-in-wales-91466-30393340/

Greer? No Fear!

I recently had the very great pleasure of compering Germaine Greer at the first of a series of events at the Gate in Roath. 'An Audience With' aims to bring the good people of Cardiff a variety of high-profile personalities, including actors, writers, sports stars, and politicians. Simon Weston was this month's guest, and next month's is Roy Hattersley - but our first kicked off, in a high-kick style, with the nation's most famous feminist.

Like most educated ladies of my age, I read The Female Eunuch at university, and was affected by it greatly. This was to the point of me managing to quote Greer (and my other favourite writer at that time, Helene Cixous) in every English essay paper - even Chaucer! Greer's writing made clear so many things that I was unconsciously aware of but unable to put a name to; I'd already realised that there were about a thousand swears featuring female terms (cow, bitch, tit, etc.) and very few for male, but many of her other assertions made other, more subtle subjects, crystal clear. It became a kind of bible for me, for a while.

So, to meet Greer now, was extremely exciting. I also felt nervous. The septugenarian has a 'rep' for being outspoken and opinionated, and for stirring people up with controversial opinions... I wondered how she would be with me.

I needn't have worried, of course. Germaine was as friendly and personable as you would've hoped, though with strongly-held, and freely-expressed, opinions. I spent about 45 minutes with her backstage while we waited for the show to begin; one minute we'd be talking about the difficulties of parking; the next we had leaped (not because of me!) onto discussing the penis and popular opinion of it. Germaine's conversation casually veered from the mundane to the remarkable, from writing to keeping accounts to her recent, much-enjoyed talks to young girls in schools, to the terrible topic of sexual assault. Once Germaine was on stage, I realised that, like most great performers, she had been practising some of her material on me - little bits and pieces that had seemed so (wonderfully) random then, were now spoken here, and to great effect. Anyone who came along to the evening will be aware that Greer is as funny and engaging as many a stand-up. The fact the house was full (370 people!), with both men and women, spoke volumes.

In all, I would say that I found Germaine to be a person who perhaps enjoys playing devil's advocate. Her 'rep', I feel, comes from her deliberately wanting to poke at people's thoughts, to get them to question their own assumptions. Perhaps this is then portrayed in the popular press as wilfulness. I also found Germaine to be less a 'feminist' than a 'humanist' in what she was saying. She struck me as a fine mind with a good heart - a sage older person who simply thinks everyone should have equal rights. The image of the younger Greer, I think, has forever thrown a fanatical, 'wimmin's rights' sorta shadow over the philosopher she has become.

The happiest moment of the evening came, for me, when an unprompted audience sang 'Happy Birthday' to Germaine - this event co-incidentally marked her 73rd birthday. As compere, I had intended to arrange something like this, but the fact it happened naturally, again, says a lot.

The only other question I'd like to address, of the many I've been asked, is - is Germaine still hot? Well, for a 73-year old, yes, I suppose she is. I guess it really depends on whether you find a brilliant mind sexy in itself. Certainly, many do, as you can see from this guy's blog. I'm not sure what Germaine would think of the question, but since it's a woman who asked it of me, perhaps she wouldn't mind (?).

Anyway... This is the longest post I've ever written! Hope to see you at some of the future events, bye for now!

Please join the Facebook group for An Audience With here and the Twitter account can be found here.

What Poets Really Do!

So.... Today, instead of catching up with all the emails that have accumulated in my inbox, I decided to make this. It's a series of images inspired by a similar one on 'professors' I saw earlier today... Anyway, click here to see/share it on Facebook; otherwise, here is the image below:

On Nipple Tassles & Other Important Matters

I had the great pleasure of recording a podcast with the lovely folk at Hack/Flash recently. This terrific trio is made up of Helia Phoenix, Carl Morris, and Lee Marshall, and they were a delight to talk to. I would like to say they are as bright as buttons, but buttons are not very bright, really - well, not the ones I've seen - so I will just say they are as bright as the brightest thing you, dearest reader, can possibly imagine, and as sharp as the sharpest thing your mind can conjure (though, veer your imagination away from knives, and other hurt-y things, and instead towards sharp-yet-pleasant things, such as running your nails along your own palm, or those of your lover... or is that just me?). What I really like about this triangular team, however, is the fact that they all have numerous projects on the go - Helia is the hepcat behind the We Are Cardiff project; Carl is the hipster who brings us the inspired Sleeveface; and Lee is a talented and tenacious musician, operating under the name of, amongst others, Underpass.

For some reason (perhaps because I was there, and I have the sense of humour of a 12-year old boy, and I still read Viz and think 'Johnny Fart-Pants' is the funniest this *ever*), we seemed to talk about men' and ladies' 'bits and bobs' a fair amount in this one, as well as various other topics, most of which I cannot remember, but which I do remember being very interesting, and so you should definitely listen to the podcast, by clicking the logo below-oh. Enjoy!!!

Goodbye, Merlin

I was very sad to learn this week that Nicol Williamson, the actor who played Merlin in Excalibur, had passed away. Okay, so he was 75 years old and, unlike Merlin, not immortal... But it is still a sorry shame. Excalibur is a favourite of mine, and Williamson's Merlin a madcap magician with *the* most 'mazing tonal range of any film character *ever*. I don't know what the hell accent it was, but it seemed wondrous to my young Welsh self who'd never heard anything of the like. Merlin's poetic style of speaking also had an effect; as he says of Excalibur, it was

"Forged when the world was young, 
and bird and beast and flower were one with man, 

and death was but a dream!"

Anyway, for all you Excalibur fans, here's the trailer for the film, re-made, as it should have been at the start. Enjoy!

Poetry Changed Me

I wrote this little piece for Apples & Snakes' 'Shake the Dust' project just before Christmas... Thought you might like to read it, please click on the logo below (I promise it is a very short piece! Only 100 words) :-)

The Joy of Books

I came across this video on Facebook recently, and thought I would share it with you all. Enjoy!

Boobs, Rude Words, and a Man in a Gorilla Suit.....

My latest blog for Write Out Loud, on my recent poet-y adventures:

http://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=26627#.Twd-obsf-Vc.twitter

which includes a link to this article I wrote, on the art of festive flirtation:

http://www.walesonline.co.uk/showbiz-and-lifestyle/style-and-shopping-in-wales/2011/12/23/survive-christmas-when-you-re-single-flirt-flirt-and-flirt-says-mab-jones-91466-30003615/